Now that I’ve shared Brynna’s story, I wanted to blog an update on the last couple of weeks. My hope is that I will be able to blog weekly (if not a couple of times a week), with updates and prayer requests and praises. I am working on making a website dedicated solely to Brynna, that’s just taking time (for obvious reasons). So, until that is done, I will continue to blog here since I already have this set up.
I’m working on a post to update on Brynna and her care over the past couple of weeks, but today I just wanted to share some of our God sightings and miracles, both big and small, that we’ve had over the past couple of weeks. I’m trying my best to write everything down, because there are SO many praises and miracles and God sightings. We are clinging to these and our victories (both big and small), through this whole process.
God sightings and miracles, weeks 1 and 2
- The Tuesday before d-day, Brynna fell at the park and hit her head. Mid-week last week, our oncologist told us that she had been thinking about that, and she was convinced it was a miracle that nothing happened with that. Her blood was so bad, that she could have/should have had bleeding on the brain or even hemorrhaged. It could have killed her, yet her brain was PERFECT. They did a CT scan before starting treatment Sunday night just to make sure, and nothing. A HUGE MIRACLE!!!
- By the end of the week last week, we were told that Brynna was setting records with her cell breakdown numbers. Again, a huge miracle!! Her body is responding well to the chemo treatments, so we pray it continues!
- Peace and hope – In this nightmare that we’ve been living, there is truly no explanation as to WHY or HOW we feel such peace and hope. It is truly the peace that passes understanding from the Lord, and from all of the prayers sustaining us. I’ve always heard that term, but never felt it until now. I still cry every day. Every time someone offers help in any shape or form, I cry. Every time I hear any worship music, I cry. Every time I think of my little girl in the hospital bed, I cry. But God is still God and God is still good. I will continue to say that through this entire process because it is the truth. Even when we don’t understand, cry out in anger and anguish, God hears us, and is here with us. We feel his presence like never before. And we feel so buoyed and sustained through ALL of your prayers!!
- KidMed – The doctor that Ben saw at Kidmed actually works at VCU. He recognized pretty quickly what was going on with Brynna, and was the one who called for blood work and got her to the hospital. This may seem small, but knowing what we know now (how quickly she was declining), this was huge that he worked so fast. AND the fact that he works at VCU. He has come in several times just to check on her, and see how we are doing. The fact that he cares is so encouraging to our hearts. He said that all of the nurses at Kidmed were asking about her too. Brynna is already making an impact on many lives!
- Timing – There is never, ever a “good” time for a crises or tragedy to hit, but the longer we’re here, the more we see little ways God orchestrated timing of things.
- This might sound a little silly, but to us, it’s huge. The oncologists are on weekly rotations. I don’t exactly understand how it works, but the oncologist that was on call Sunday night was also the same oncologist that we had all week long…and she was AMAZING. I call her my bff doctor. Coming in on the weekend meant we got the same oncologist all week long. Even though all the oncologists we’ve met have been great, and they all know exactly what is going on with Brynna, I just see this as a small blessing.
- My dad had a hip replacement in mid-March. This was originally scheduled for mid-April. Through a series of (at the time) seemingly odd events, his surgery got moved up. His recovery has been incredible. A God thing. We couldn’t have done this without him and my mom!!!!
- Ben started a new job in the midst of this (right!?). It is with the same company, but a different office…the office is closer to both home and the hospital, by a lot. He was already in the process of transitioning his projects away.
- Sick season – Brynna is going to have no immune system for quite some time. The fact that this hit at the VERY end of flu season, is huge!! We have months before the flu is really back in play and we are thankful for that.
- My business – Although I had planned to take a hiatus through June, I was a little frustrated that I wasn’t booking anything for after that. Now I see why. Total God thing.
- Dairy Free – I recently had to go dairy free for Cole. For the past couple of months, I have been dairy light, and then (when I realized dairy was all or nothing), I went total dairy free and soy light. This transformed the way that I cook and the way that we eat (I’ve always smothered everything with cheese and cream, because YUM). I know that our eating needs to continue to change for the better when Brynna comes home, but I see this as another little God thing…just starting the transformation in our eating early.
- Personalities – The fact that God gave Brynna a feisty, firecracker personality isn’t lost on us. All of the doctors and nurses know Brynna is a firecracker, and so many have commented that her personality is EXACTLY the type that is needed to fight this nasty thing. And then Wyatt. Wyatt is the sweetest, calmest, most patience, wise beyond his years, 3 year old I know. Again, a God thing. These weeks have been hard on him too (he misses his best friend something fierce), but he has been SUCH a trooper. I know God created him this way for this time in our lives. I know God has big things for both of them (and Cole as well!), but it’s cool to see some of that right now.
- Momma’s intuition – I mentioned in my last post, how I knew, deep down, that Brynna had leukemia. As awful as that struggle was, I see it as a blessing. When the official diagnosis came, I wasn’t shocked. It was absolutely world altering and devastating, but I could see how God had been working in my heart leading up to that moment in time. It allowed me to be stronger than I otherwise would have been. It allowed Ben and I to process together.
- Ben – We make a good team, the best team. We know the statistics. We know the stresses. We’ve talked about it, and we know our marriage needs to stay a priority. We process, grieve, and think differently, but we have so much grace and patience and love for each other right now, and we are continually praying that God keeps that forefront in both of our hearts and minds.
- Our community – Y’all, I truly have no words. We are BLOWN AWAY by every single offer of help. It’s humbling and makes me weep every time there’s a new offer of help. People are finding ways we hadn’t even thought of to help. And the prayers. THE PRAYERS! There are THOUSANDS of you around the world, praying for our sweet girl and for us. Words will never, ever be adequate. Thank you will never be enough. But please know that we read every single comment, message, email, text, card. Your words, your love, your prayers. An absolutely incredible blessing. Thank you!!!